The Myth
Foreword
In ancient India, women wore a little dash of vermilion as a symbol of marital fidelity and faith. It is not being implied that they don’t wear it these days. It was worn as a small dot in the center of the forehead and the married woman continued to wear it till her death. In the event her husband died, she could not wear vermilion again. It was said that, the vermilion bestowed a lot of power on the user. One legend says that a woman named Savitri saved her husband from Yama, the Indian God of Death by that power. However that was long ago and in a story. I am ignorant about other countries and cultures. I am sure there will be an equal designation for the God of Death in other countries and cultures as well as for Vermilion.
Dedication
To all my kinsmen, who see what I see.
Kinsmen of the our past for providing useful counterpoints and leaving us just stories to find out the reality in them, surviving kinsmen who stand between the darkness and the dawn of a new and bright age, who must persevere.
And to the Kinsmen of our future, let us leave a large inheritance.
Prelude
Once upon a time, long ago there was a man. He dreamt a lot and during these dreams he dreamt of a woman. The dream always recurred. He looked in the reality of his times and knew that such a woman was just dream.
Long, long ago later, he fought many a battles; he fought invisible enemies without and within. He was scarred, intolerant and angry. He, having thus fought and lost the battles to which he was an outsider, retired to rest. He left his dwelling and sought to live in peace in seclusion in an ancient town known for its peace and tranquility. One day, at the very same town, he met a girl, barley a woman. She was dark, of large and smiling eyes.
She was carrying guilt.
She was not beautiful and he knew that she knew it. He saw her often, in the evenings, in the morning light and at night. He then did not know it, but she knew as most women know of such things. She was his dream and that he was afraid to acknowledge her as such. The Seeker failed to recognize her as his dream and consequently did not care much for her, but she triggered some ancient impulse in him and he set out to find that impulse. He was tired and worn but the impulse led him on and on. He refused to believe that she was, in fact his dream. He felt some very strong and illogical attraction towards her, but nothing could convince him internally about the truth of this attraction. He fought that attraction; he fought with all his knowledge and gradually lost ground to that fatal attraction. His knowledge was of no help. His education was of no help. In his ears stood the sound of her affirmation, the thrill of her being. There was seldom any moment, when he did not think of her. There was only one direction in his mind and all the roads in his consciousness led to her. Having thus fought and struggled for many years, the threat of her reality becoming stronger by the day, he knew that she was some impossible vision, alighted from the gossamer unreality of life come to claim him as her own. Even then, he would not recognize his dream, but knew this to be some sort of fatality that he must rise to face.
The pathways in his mind were blurred; the direction then, which he was to take, was misty, but just barely indicated. The world was not aware of their reality then. That was long ago. The both of them grew up to the expectations of nature that had bestowed on them, the extraordinary powers of recognition. He treated this, at that point of time as an accident with no design in it. She was barely a woman, just the wisp of a girl. He much older and the defeat of his recent battles, which he understood little about then was fresh in his mind. The anger and hurt would not go away. He could sense her attraction, but that did not heal him. He then did not know how long it was going to take, this healing process, if at all there was to be such a thing. He was overwhelmed with this design of destiny and asked if she would be his wife. She became silent. In the evening, under the large banyan tree, by the side of the temple, where they did not meet, she asked for a little vermilion. He said that was easy and he could find it. But she said, please seek far and wide. Find me the vermilion of the color of the rising sun. Find me the vermilion that I could wear with pride and dignity. He said six months. He said, let this little dog be your guard till my return. He left the town, but that was leisurely and he was sure to find the stuff. After all there were so many married women in the country, could not one of them give him what his sweet heart desired?
The Poor Man
The Seeker left the town, but did not think much about what he sought to find. He wandered at leisure in the vast country, which he happened to call his own. Then at a time when the mood took him, he decided to find the vermilion in the house of the poor for was virtue not a qualifying trait of the poor man? The Seeker begged for alms for his living. He once reached the house of a particular poor man, living in the remotest village of his country. He requested to be made a guest of the poor man. He was not refused. He saw that poverty had driven the poor man and his spouse to many strange actions. He saw that the woman was always in need of fine clothes and fine food. All the
times, she complained about this need. The poor man always lived in shame, because he was unable to meet his spouse’s needs. He saw that the woman sought to bring shame upon him, as if that would provide a drive for some further motive. A great many young and not so young men visited his house in his absence and provided the needs of his wife. He sensed some secret transaction between these men and the wife. When ever these men visited the house the woman was less irritable and somewhat cordial towards the husband. The wife some times claimed that she was the master of the house. They fought bitterly, sometimes with angry words, some times without words and sometimes in whispers. But he sensed that there was no peace in between them and some great element was missing in their relationship. The day he sought to ask the wife for the vermilion came near. But he sensed that such stuff as he had come to seek was not to be found at this house and so he did not ask for it. He was disappointed but not in despair. He begged leave of them and moved away pondering where to go next.
The Shop Keeper
The Seeker moved to a small town from the village and sought out a small shopkeeper. The shopkeeper seemed to be happy and cheerful. The Seeker thought perhaps vermilion could be found at the house of this man. As usual he sought to be his guest and was accepted. The shopkeeper had great many servants and slaves. He worked his servants and slaves hard. His wife and daughters fed them regularly so that they could work to their full efficiency. The shopkeeper worked hard at the shop from morning till night and was busy with the accounts of his business. He had a pious and god-fearing wife and four lovely daughters. The wife, in the absence of the shopkeeper, consorted with the great many servants and slaves that frequented the house at all hours. The difference between the shopkeeper and the poor man was that the shopkeeper knew what was happening at his house where as the poor man did not know it directly. The shopkeeper however guarded the outward appearance of normalcy and was wary of any one who referred to the situation at his house but strangely no one made any reference and every thing continued as usual. The daughters who were keen of eye and ear learnt of their mother’s needs and had learnt to share her slaves and servants among themselves. The Seeker sensed such things, as was his way of finding out the affairs of men and women. Soon the day arrived when he was to ask the woman for vermilion, but he having sensed that no such gift was in the power of this woman, did not ask for it. He was disappointed but not in despair. He begged leave of them and moved away pondering where to go next.
The Lawyer
The Seeker wandered into a large town still engrossed in his self. He was not overly worried that such a little dash of vermilion that he sought was not yet his to carry back to his sweet heart. He wandered about and about the town looking for a suitable person. He then identified the lawyer. He reasoned that the Lawyer was the man who must have vermilion for was he not a man who knew right and wrong? Was he not a man who fought for the just and right? He asked the Lawyer and was gratefully accepted into the household as a guest. He had never wondered as to how no one refused him this little right. He then did not know of some greater force that designed his search. The lawyer was a successful man and knew not only the rules but the exceptions as well. The Lawyer had a great many juniors who were very diligent and worked for a great many clients. The consulting room was always busy. The clients came and went, so did the juniors and other clerks who worked late into the night. The Lawyer knew of his wife’s great insatiable desires. The wife knew that the Lawyer would not be able to fulfill it. What the wife did not know was that no man living could fulfill such insatiable physical need as hers. This need had become an all consuming, always present wish that had come to influence every moment of her life. The Lawyer worked hard for a comfortable life. In the evenings after the work was done the Lawyer drank himself into a stupor and slept an uneasy sleep. The great many juniors, the great many clerks and clients who came and went through the house could not meet the wife’s needs. The appointed day came and The Seeker was supposed to ask for vermilion, but he begged to leave and they parted with him. They knew his desire and were unhappy that they could not provide it. The reality of his wife’s desire always overwhelmed him and secretly he wished The Seeker success. The wife may have been skeptical about such a search but did not show any emotion at the parting. Perhaps, she too secretly grieved at her own state of desires. She had become a vegetarian with the hope of controlling her
excess desire, but the desire seemed to run away with her, the moment she met any man. He was disappointed but not in excess despair. He begged leave of them and moved away pondering where to go next.
The Company Man
The Seeker, a little saddened, then moved into a city. He thought that a great number of people lived in the city and surely some one would be able to provide a little vermilion that he could carry back. He came upon a large house and sought to become a guest at the house of a man working for a large company. It was said that the company was doing business in several countries. The Seeker thought perhaps the company man having come in contact with such a large group of people from various countries could provide his wish. The company man was away a lot on visits and tours. His wife was alone at home most of the time. This loneliness drove her to consort with the plumber, the grocery man, the newspaper boy or any chance visitor to their house. The
company man whenever home attended a large number of parties and wished his wife to be friendly with his boss and superiors. The wife gladly obliged. But let it be known that such was against her wishes. The company man was also friendly with his boss’s wife and daughters. Of this the wife knew, but the company man said this was necessary for promotions and a better life. The company man knew of her liaisons with
his superiors, for these happened with his knowledge, some times in their very own bed room, but he did not know of her liaisons with the milk man and the tutor of their child. The company man drank a great deal and thought it was just a bad habit. He was afraid of attributing the cause directly. He was intelligent but did not have enough strength in him to find out the truth about his drinking. Perhaps some faint voice in him proclaimed another state of affairs, but to this he was just a listener. He never had the time or inclination to activate that voice into a roar, besides he got his promotions, his wife continued to smile the same smug smile and grow fat and look healthy, so what if the both of them suffered the occasional heart attack and had blood pressure. Those were considered to be occupational hazards and were to be borne with stoutness. Having sensed such state of affairs The Seeker was now in true despair, for his hope of finding any vermilion gradually slimmed and so his eventual return. He begged leave of them and wondered what to do next.
The Government Servant
The Seeker sat outside a large building dejected and in great despair, when a kind man accosted him and asked him to be his guest. The Seeker by then knew some design led to his search and gladly agreed. The kind man was a senior servant of the people and worked in a great organization, responsible for the welfare of the poor and the downtrodden. The Seeker had a glimmer of hope on listening to the kind man describe his occupation. The kind man’s voice was monotonous. It sounded as if the government servant found no satisfaction in the job. The Seeker said nothing, but felt in his heart of a great malady that had struck the men of his country. But he was otherwise occupied and had no great desire to help out any one, but find a little vermilion and return to his dream. The government servant was neat, fastidious and kept to very regular hours of work, sleep, exercise and social functions. The wife was keen and young but had no great respect for the routine of her husband. He also knew a lot of
Holy Scriptures and could hold his own when explaining difficult religious concepts. He held key appointments in several religious and charitable functions. He seemed to know all there was to know about correct living. The Seeker made his wife pray in the mornings, wear vermilion and keep fast on auspicious days. He was methodical about such things. She did all this with a great deal of jest and energy as if this provided some secret source of affirmation to her being. She went shopping and to his husband’s clubs in he vehicle provided by the office and she consorted with the office driver, mostly after they came back from shopping and parties. The man also kept orderlies who provided temporary relief to the wife. She demanded this of them, as the wife of their superior officer; the men were servile and obliging. The woman perhaps
found what she wanted. The Seeker however had doubts, but did not voice it. He sensed all this and his unhappiness was growing by the day. The day came for him to ask for the vermilion, and as usual he did not. He sought their leave and wandered away again into the great wilderness of the city with it’s maddening rush and blinking seeing eyes.
The Rich Man
And then he met the rich man. This meeting seemed to be an accident. They were crossing a river together by a ferryboat and happened to talk to each other. The rich man invited The Seeker to his house. The Seeker did not wonder about this, but went along. The Seeker was housed in a beautiful cottage adjoining the rich man’s own house. The rich man had several servants, great many cars and drivers. The rich man even had a servant for his large collection of dogs. The Seeker thought perhaps, may be here he would finally find his need. The rich man paid very meager sums of money to his servants. They were kept in various posts, solely for the purpose of providing pleasure to his wife. Any servant found wanting in that regard lost his job very quickly. Any man found excelling in that department had a raise in salary and comfortable accommodation. The Seeker sensed all this, his previous battles were refreshed in his mind and he was extremely saddened at this state of affairs. As a concession, his wife permitted the rich man to procure any young virgin from the city to fulfill his physical needs since he paid very well and there were a large number of poor parents with virgin daughters in the city. The rich man considered providing pleasures to his wife by the servants as division of labor. He could see that the rich man had no concept of vermilion, let alone provide him with some. And this time he left without asking. The rich man had by this time surmised The Seeker’s need. He did not think it was a worthwhile goal to pursue, but just cosmetic value, better goals being wealth, power and such earthly stuff. According to the rich man, the women were always this way and one must manage this animal urge in the female as best as one can. By hired help if possible, distant relations next, near relations next and so on. This desire must be managed at all costs. It was a simple labor problem really, according to the rich man, who dealt with a thousand laborers day in and day out and thought he knew them well enough to manage them towards a productive end. However, since on waking one fine morning and not finding The Seeker in the cottage, the rich man could not advise The Seeker accordingly.
The Thief
The Seeker was dejected and despair drove him to near madness. He was now in considerable mental pain and some physical pain as well, since mental pain was related to the physical. He was constantly tired and worn from this great longing to go back and not finding what he had been seeking now for a period what seemed like an eternity. He
consequently took very little care of himself and his health was failing him too. He slept by the roadside, under trees, in temple courtyards and such places that could afford him some rest for the night. On one such night, he was suddenly awakened by a sound of furious running and flurried footsteps. He woke to find a burglar and a policeman. They were arguing bitterly and the thief was seeking leeway from the policeman. He was offering the police a part of his stolen goods and a regular commission from his other nightly incomes. The policeman was unmoved. The thief then invited the policeman to his home and The Seeker could not see what unsaid passed between them, but to his surprise the policeman agreed and the discussion took on a gentler note. The pair started moving away, The Seeker by now thoroughly curious followed them at some respectable distance. They were talking as they walked and the note of the conversation was as between old friends. Finally, they arrived at the modest home of the burglar. The pair went inside and the Seeker looked into the house, through the fluttering window curtains to see what apparently had caused the sudden change in the mood in both the men. A very beautiful woman bedecked with gold and jewels served the policeman after a very short wait with a many course meal. The policeman sat down to his meal in a most casual manner and went about consuming the meal enjoying the food and the gossip. Then to the surprise of The Seeker, the thief came out of the house and stood outside as on guard. The woman as if by some signal came into the room to remove the plates and victuals. The policeman caught her hand gently but the woman did not seem to resist. Then the two of them moved to the nearby bed with the policeman leading. The two consorted with eager and active participation of the woman. The woman then removed the plates and victuals with much noise and left. After some decent interval of time the thief came in inquiring if the policeman had rested well after the meal to which the policeman replied in affirmative and then the two of them left the house. On parting the policeman was in praise for the good wife’s cooking, to which the thief said it was his duty to look after guests as they were in the image of God. The Seeker was awe struck and confounded at the witness of such behavior, but had the good sense not to go to the thief to inquire about the incident, for by then he had a thousand questions to ask. Thus tormented by his inquiries and his inability to find his dream, he wandered through the city till exhaustion overtook his body and he slept the sleep of the dead. Morning came and he woke with the memory of the night and then finally knew some secret link existed between his observation and his goal.
The Joint Family
The Seeker at this point of time did a strange thing. He discontinued his search for some time and lived in limbo. He had lost all purposes to his life. He was without any inner drive and let the day carry him as floodwater does a broken branch. He lived from moment to moment without any hope, without any thinking. Then he met an old man. He carried him with great affection to his house. He said he had a large family that lived in harmony. The family was undivided and had been so for the last three generations. The Seeker accepted mechanically. The house was full of beaming women and children. All the adult women consorted with all the adult and not so adult males at some time or the other. The Seeker sensed this. The old man one day called him aside and asked The Seeker not to be alarmed, for strangely the old man knew about his quest. The women are such by nature and it is better that they keep such a thing within the family. This keeps the family together he said and their respect in their locality was also not lost. You see, the advantage that exists when sister in laws consort with brother in laws and cousins with cousins. To this The Seeker had no reply. When he had left the girl, he was certain to find a little vermilion. His hope had gradually dimmed as his search progressed and now at the end of his search he knew positively that a thing as a little vermilion did not exist within this vast country. This drove him to great sorrow and despair and he left the family after thanking them profusely, for opening his eyes to a practical reality such as a cohesive family and respect by the neighbors.
The Pimp and the Whore
It was night. The Seeker was asleep on the vegetable cart in the market place when accosted by a stranger. He stranger shook him gently and asked The Seeker to follow him. The man with sleep in his eyes and wariness in his being followed the stranger to a narrow lane of the city where he found a richly made up woman. The stranger now asked The Seeker for money. The Seeker said what money, for he had none. He then realized that the stranger was a pimp and the woman his whore. He said as much. The pimp, to the total surprise of The Seeker started shouting and the woman started to cry. Some disinterested passersby suddenly became interested and converged on The Seeker and gave him a sound beating. The whore said that The Seeker had been trying to molest her and the pimp said that he was the witness of the fact and he had rushed to help the poor woman. The Seeker lost consciousness and was left to himself and the whore and the pimp disappeared. The morning came as it does and The Seeker was left to reflect upon the odd result of calling a whore a whore. By now it was beyond him to figure out any reason. He had been so disappointed by the result of his search that he was in no state to figure out the complex workings of the human mind.
The Hermit
The Seeker with such knowledge as he had obtained throughout his sojourn was greatly burdened and wandered about the land without aim and purpose. At a place there had congregated a lot of fakirs for an annual holy dip into the sacred river. He went there anyway. Not with the hope of finding his dream there since, he knew these men were supposed to be celibate and had no idea of man woman relationships. There he met a man with a strange intensity in his eyes. He seemed to see deep into his troubles all at once. He directed The Seeker to his guru living in the remotest mountain range of the land. The Seeker was so tired that he could barely walk. There was no sustenance, physical, emotional or spiritual left for him. He was alone with his findings and the knowledge weighed on his brows heavily. But he was driven by his dream and made an extreme effort to reach the guru. The hermit was old and wizened.
The people at the base of the mountain said, they had no living knowledge of his arrival. It seemed he was always there. The hermit said he was expecting the man. The Seeker said how but without much conviction. The hermit smiled but did not reply and the burden of ages seemed to suddenly lift from his brows. He said he was The Seeker’s search guide, but after here The Seeker was on his own, for he was old, celibate and his knowledge domain did not extend into areas The Seeker was looking at, but the man had his blessing for what ever it was worth. He said the women were with some primitive knowledge that The Seeker must discover. He said the women were not looking for men as animals but for men as Gods. He said the time has now come when that may be possible. He said the self played all sort of tricks on the men and women. He said the self was amorphous. It was divine when connected and an animal in sin when it forgot about the connection. He said we must become a continuously connected node. He said all beings lived by a value about which they had no idea. But the memory of the value held by the One haunted them all the time. He said the world was one by energy patterns and he must discover this before looking for vermilion. He said men were not healthy and he must find the secret of their health first. He said women looked down the men as inferior to them, therefore by primitive animalistic rights they sought to control and use them. He said he must find the other tree of knowledge that now has borne fruit and is waiting for the man. He said The Seeker must find light and be prepared to roll the stone uphill. He said The Seeker must not acknowledge his tiredness but keep up his unrelenting search, because we must move from the known to the unknown. He also warned him saying what he sought was possible, but improbable to find in this age and time.
He said a great many unrelated things too.
The Seeker was by now beyond any listening. He was looking at some force far beyond the hermit, beyond time and space, a unifying force that had guided him so far through out his search. He had a lot of questions that he wished to ask and find answers. He did not wish to offend the hermit, who seemed to know the root of his knowledge and ignorance, but beyond these, it seemed existed some third neutral force that worked as a medium for all this existence and conversation, his sense, his third eye.
The Beginning
He felt by now that she had set him up. But to what end? As described by the hermit, was all such improbable stuff actually within the possibility domain? Was she aware of what her little desire had done to The Seeker? Perhaps this had happened without her explicit knowledge. He remembered her calling him stupid. Perhaps she had recourse to some ancient source of knowledge that was denied him. Perhaps he was on the wrong side of the domain that contained the matrices of such overlapping patterns of knowledge. The path pattern he must now follow became gradually clear to him. But seemed so far away and distant that he had no hope of making it across. The words of the hermit came back to him now more often than he wished. He had said you must seek it, you may find it. The tree is now ready and borne fruit. The strange ideas of the hermit were starting to find root in him.
And it is said unknown to The Seeker, the girl with her dog, to this day, waits by the riverside counting the dusks from her balcony with unseeing eyes and hope in her heart.
Epilogue
This is the first part of a series and is the end result of a lot of suffering. There will be another book, of that I am sure, but I do not know when but I think that will be of wisdom and understanding. Hope you have found this problem as fascinating as I have. You may write me if you think about this issue as much as I do, I can sure do with some view points on the how and whys.
for further reference to this work see reflections on the Myth at http://mythreflect.blogspot.com
In ancient India, women wore a little dash of vermilion as a symbol of marital fidelity and faith. It is not being implied that they don’t wear it these days. It was worn as a small dot in the center of the forehead and the married woman continued to wear it till her death. In the event her husband died, she could not wear vermilion again. It was said that, the vermilion bestowed a lot of power on the user. One legend says that a woman named Savitri saved her husband from Yama, the Indian God of Death by that power. However that was long ago and in a story. I am ignorant about other countries and cultures. I am sure there will be an equal designation for the God of Death in other countries and cultures as well as for Vermilion.
Dedication
To all my kinsmen, who see what I see.
Kinsmen of the our past for providing useful counterpoints and leaving us just stories to find out the reality in them, surviving kinsmen who stand between the darkness and the dawn of a new and bright age, who must persevere.
And to the Kinsmen of our future, let us leave a large inheritance.
Prelude
Once upon a time, long ago there was a man. He dreamt a lot and during these dreams he dreamt of a woman. The dream always recurred. He looked in the reality of his times and knew that such a woman was just dream.
Long, long ago later, he fought many a battles; he fought invisible enemies without and within. He was scarred, intolerant and angry. He, having thus fought and lost the battles to which he was an outsider, retired to rest. He left his dwelling and sought to live in peace in seclusion in an ancient town known for its peace and tranquility. One day, at the very same town, he met a girl, barley a woman. She was dark, of large and smiling eyes.
She was carrying guilt.
She was not beautiful and he knew that she knew it. He saw her often, in the evenings, in the morning light and at night. He then did not know it, but she knew as most women know of such things. She was his dream and that he was afraid to acknowledge her as such. The Seeker failed to recognize her as his dream and consequently did not care much for her, but she triggered some ancient impulse in him and he set out to find that impulse. He was tired and worn but the impulse led him on and on. He refused to believe that she was, in fact his dream. He felt some very strong and illogical attraction towards her, but nothing could convince him internally about the truth of this attraction. He fought that attraction; he fought with all his knowledge and gradually lost ground to that fatal attraction. His knowledge was of no help. His education was of no help. In his ears stood the sound of her affirmation, the thrill of her being. There was seldom any moment, when he did not think of her. There was only one direction in his mind and all the roads in his consciousness led to her. Having thus fought and struggled for many years, the threat of her reality becoming stronger by the day, he knew that she was some impossible vision, alighted from the gossamer unreality of life come to claim him as her own. Even then, he would not recognize his dream, but knew this to be some sort of fatality that he must rise to face.
The pathways in his mind were blurred; the direction then, which he was to take, was misty, but just barely indicated. The world was not aware of their reality then. That was long ago. The both of them grew up to the expectations of nature that had bestowed on them, the extraordinary powers of recognition. He treated this, at that point of time as an accident with no design in it. She was barely a woman, just the wisp of a girl. He much older and the defeat of his recent battles, which he understood little about then was fresh in his mind. The anger and hurt would not go away. He could sense her attraction, but that did not heal him. He then did not know how long it was going to take, this healing process, if at all there was to be such a thing. He was overwhelmed with this design of destiny and asked if she would be his wife. She became silent. In the evening, under the large banyan tree, by the side of the temple, where they did not meet, she asked for a little vermilion. He said that was easy and he could find it. But she said, please seek far and wide. Find me the vermilion of the color of the rising sun. Find me the vermilion that I could wear with pride and dignity. He said six months. He said, let this little dog be your guard till my return. He left the town, but that was leisurely and he was sure to find the stuff. After all there were so many married women in the country, could not one of them give him what his sweet heart desired?
The Poor Man
The Seeker left the town, but did not think much about what he sought to find. He wandered at leisure in the vast country, which he happened to call his own. Then at a time when the mood took him, he decided to find the vermilion in the house of the poor for was virtue not a qualifying trait of the poor man? The Seeker begged for alms for his living. He once reached the house of a particular poor man, living in the remotest village of his country. He requested to be made a guest of the poor man. He was not refused. He saw that poverty had driven the poor man and his spouse to many strange actions. He saw that the woman was always in need of fine clothes and fine food. All the
times, she complained about this need. The poor man always lived in shame, because he was unable to meet his spouse’s needs. He saw that the woman sought to bring shame upon him, as if that would provide a drive for some further motive. A great many young and not so young men visited his house in his absence and provided the needs of his wife. He sensed some secret transaction between these men and the wife. When ever these men visited the house the woman was less irritable and somewhat cordial towards the husband. The wife some times claimed that she was the master of the house. They fought bitterly, sometimes with angry words, some times without words and sometimes in whispers. But he sensed that there was no peace in between them and some great element was missing in their relationship. The day he sought to ask the wife for the vermilion came near. But he sensed that such stuff as he had come to seek was not to be found at this house and so he did not ask for it. He was disappointed but not in despair. He begged leave of them and moved away pondering where to go next.
The Shop Keeper
The Seeker moved to a small town from the village and sought out a small shopkeeper. The shopkeeper seemed to be happy and cheerful. The Seeker thought perhaps vermilion could be found at the house of this man. As usual he sought to be his guest and was accepted. The shopkeeper had great many servants and slaves. He worked his servants and slaves hard. His wife and daughters fed them regularly so that they could work to their full efficiency. The shopkeeper worked hard at the shop from morning till night and was busy with the accounts of his business. He had a pious and god-fearing wife and four lovely daughters. The wife, in the absence of the shopkeeper, consorted with the great many servants and slaves that frequented the house at all hours. The difference between the shopkeeper and the poor man was that the shopkeeper knew what was happening at his house where as the poor man did not know it directly. The shopkeeper however guarded the outward appearance of normalcy and was wary of any one who referred to the situation at his house but strangely no one made any reference and every thing continued as usual. The daughters who were keen of eye and ear learnt of their mother’s needs and had learnt to share her slaves and servants among themselves. The Seeker sensed such things, as was his way of finding out the affairs of men and women. Soon the day arrived when he was to ask the woman for vermilion, but he having sensed that no such gift was in the power of this woman, did not ask for it. He was disappointed but not in despair. He begged leave of them and moved away pondering where to go next.
The Lawyer
The Seeker wandered into a large town still engrossed in his self. He was not overly worried that such a little dash of vermilion that he sought was not yet his to carry back to his sweet heart. He wandered about and about the town looking for a suitable person. He then identified the lawyer. He reasoned that the Lawyer was the man who must have vermilion for was he not a man who knew right and wrong? Was he not a man who fought for the just and right? He asked the Lawyer and was gratefully accepted into the household as a guest. He had never wondered as to how no one refused him this little right. He then did not know of some greater force that designed his search. The lawyer was a successful man and knew not only the rules but the exceptions as well. The Lawyer had a great many juniors who were very diligent and worked for a great many clients. The consulting room was always busy. The clients came and went, so did the juniors and other clerks who worked late into the night. The Lawyer knew of his wife’s great insatiable desires. The wife knew that the Lawyer would not be able to fulfill it. What the wife did not know was that no man living could fulfill such insatiable physical need as hers. This need had become an all consuming, always present wish that had come to influence every moment of her life. The Lawyer worked hard for a comfortable life. In the evenings after the work was done the Lawyer drank himself into a stupor and slept an uneasy sleep. The great many juniors, the great many clerks and clients who came and went through the house could not meet the wife’s needs. The appointed day came and The Seeker was supposed to ask for vermilion, but he begged to leave and they parted with him. They knew his desire and were unhappy that they could not provide it. The reality of his wife’s desire always overwhelmed him and secretly he wished The Seeker success. The wife may have been skeptical about such a search but did not show any emotion at the parting. Perhaps, she too secretly grieved at her own state of desires. She had become a vegetarian with the hope of controlling her
excess desire, but the desire seemed to run away with her, the moment she met any man. He was disappointed but not in excess despair. He begged leave of them and moved away pondering where to go next.
The Company Man
The Seeker, a little saddened, then moved into a city. He thought that a great number of people lived in the city and surely some one would be able to provide a little vermilion that he could carry back. He came upon a large house and sought to become a guest at the house of a man working for a large company. It was said that the company was doing business in several countries. The Seeker thought perhaps the company man having come in contact with such a large group of people from various countries could provide his wish. The company man was away a lot on visits and tours. His wife was alone at home most of the time. This loneliness drove her to consort with the plumber, the grocery man, the newspaper boy or any chance visitor to their house. The
company man whenever home attended a large number of parties and wished his wife to be friendly with his boss and superiors. The wife gladly obliged. But let it be known that such was against her wishes. The company man was also friendly with his boss’s wife and daughters. Of this the wife knew, but the company man said this was necessary for promotions and a better life. The company man knew of her liaisons with
his superiors, for these happened with his knowledge, some times in their very own bed room, but he did not know of her liaisons with the milk man and the tutor of their child. The company man drank a great deal and thought it was just a bad habit. He was afraid of attributing the cause directly. He was intelligent but did not have enough strength in him to find out the truth about his drinking. Perhaps some faint voice in him proclaimed another state of affairs, but to this he was just a listener. He never had the time or inclination to activate that voice into a roar, besides he got his promotions, his wife continued to smile the same smug smile and grow fat and look healthy, so what if the both of them suffered the occasional heart attack and had blood pressure. Those were considered to be occupational hazards and were to be borne with stoutness. Having sensed such state of affairs The Seeker was now in true despair, for his hope of finding any vermilion gradually slimmed and so his eventual return. He begged leave of them and wondered what to do next.
The Government Servant
The Seeker sat outside a large building dejected and in great despair, when a kind man accosted him and asked him to be his guest. The Seeker by then knew some design led to his search and gladly agreed. The kind man was a senior servant of the people and worked in a great organization, responsible for the welfare of the poor and the downtrodden. The Seeker had a glimmer of hope on listening to the kind man describe his occupation. The kind man’s voice was monotonous. It sounded as if the government servant found no satisfaction in the job. The Seeker said nothing, but felt in his heart of a great malady that had struck the men of his country. But he was otherwise occupied and had no great desire to help out any one, but find a little vermilion and return to his dream. The government servant was neat, fastidious and kept to very regular hours of work, sleep, exercise and social functions. The wife was keen and young but had no great respect for the routine of her husband. He also knew a lot of
Holy Scriptures and could hold his own when explaining difficult religious concepts. He held key appointments in several religious and charitable functions. He seemed to know all there was to know about correct living. The Seeker made his wife pray in the mornings, wear vermilion and keep fast on auspicious days. He was methodical about such things. She did all this with a great deal of jest and energy as if this provided some secret source of affirmation to her being. She went shopping and to his husband’s clubs in he vehicle provided by the office and she consorted with the office driver, mostly after they came back from shopping and parties. The man also kept orderlies who provided temporary relief to the wife. She demanded this of them, as the wife of their superior officer; the men were servile and obliging. The woman perhaps
found what she wanted. The Seeker however had doubts, but did not voice it. He sensed all this and his unhappiness was growing by the day. The day came for him to ask for the vermilion, and as usual he did not. He sought their leave and wandered away again into the great wilderness of the city with it’s maddening rush and blinking seeing eyes.
The Rich Man
And then he met the rich man. This meeting seemed to be an accident. They were crossing a river together by a ferryboat and happened to talk to each other. The rich man invited The Seeker to his house. The Seeker did not wonder about this, but went along. The Seeker was housed in a beautiful cottage adjoining the rich man’s own house. The rich man had several servants, great many cars and drivers. The rich man even had a servant for his large collection of dogs. The Seeker thought perhaps, may be here he would finally find his need. The rich man paid very meager sums of money to his servants. They were kept in various posts, solely for the purpose of providing pleasure to his wife. Any servant found wanting in that regard lost his job very quickly. Any man found excelling in that department had a raise in salary and comfortable accommodation. The Seeker sensed all this, his previous battles were refreshed in his mind and he was extremely saddened at this state of affairs. As a concession, his wife permitted the rich man to procure any young virgin from the city to fulfill his physical needs since he paid very well and there were a large number of poor parents with virgin daughters in the city. The rich man considered providing pleasures to his wife by the servants as division of labor. He could see that the rich man had no concept of vermilion, let alone provide him with some. And this time he left without asking. The rich man had by this time surmised The Seeker’s need. He did not think it was a worthwhile goal to pursue, but just cosmetic value, better goals being wealth, power and such earthly stuff. According to the rich man, the women were always this way and one must manage this animal urge in the female as best as one can. By hired help if possible, distant relations next, near relations next and so on. This desire must be managed at all costs. It was a simple labor problem really, according to the rich man, who dealt with a thousand laborers day in and day out and thought he knew them well enough to manage them towards a productive end. However, since on waking one fine morning and not finding The Seeker in the cottage, the rich man could not advise The Seeker accordingly.
The Thief
The Seeker was dejected and despair drove him to near madness. He was now in considerable mental pain and some physical pain as well, since mental pain was related to the physical. He was constantly tired and worn from this great longing to go back and not finding what he had been seeking now for a period what seemed like an eternity. He
consequently took very little care of himself and his health was failing him too. He slept by the roadside, under trees, in temple courtyards and such places that could afford him some rest for the night. On one such night, he was suddenly awakened by a sound of furious running and flurried footsteps. He woke to find a burglar and a policeman. They were arguing bitterly and the thief was seeking leeway from the policeman. He was offering the police a part of his stolen goods and a regular commission from his other nightly incomes. The policeman was unmoved. The thief then invited the policeman to his home and The Seeker could not see what unsaid passed between them, but to his surprise the policeman agreed and the discussion took on a gentler note. The pair started moving away, The Seeker by now thoroughly curious followed them at some respectable distance. They were talking as they walked and the note of the conversation was as between old friends. Finally, they arrived at the modest home of the burglar. The pair went inside and the Seeker looked into the house, through the fluttering window curtains to see what apparently had caused the sudden change in the mood in both the men. A very beautiful woman bedecked with gold and jewels served the policeman after a very short wait with a many course meal. The policeman sat down to his meal in a most casual manner and went about consuming the meal enjoying the food and the gossip. Then to the surprise of The Seeker, the thief came out of the house and stood outside as on guard. The woman as if by some signal came into the room to remove the plates and victuals. The policeman caught her hand gently but the woman did not seem to resist. Then the two of them moved to the nearby bed with the policeman leading. The two consorted with eager and active participation of the woman. The woman then removed the plates and victuals with much noise and left. After some decent interval of time the thief came in inquiring if the policeman had rested well after the meal to which the policeman replied in affirmative and then the two of them left the house. On parting the policeman was in praise for the good wife’s cooking, to which the thief said it was his duty to look after guests as they were in the image of God. The Seeker was awe struck and confounded at the witness of such behavior, but had the good sense not to go to the thief to inquire about the incident, for by then he had a thousand questions to ask. Thus tormented by his inquiries and his inability to find his dream, he wandered through the city till exhaustion overtook his body and he slept the sleep of the dead. Morning came and he woke with the memory of the night and then finally knew some secret link existed between his observation and his goal.
The Joint Family
The Seeker at this point of time did a strange thing. He discontinued his search for some time and lived in limbo. He had lost all purposes to his life. He was without any inner drive and let the day carry him as floodwater does a broken branch. He lived from moment to moment without any hope, without any thinking. Then he met an old man. He carried him with great affection to his house. He said he had a large family that lived in harmony. The family was undivided and had been so for the last three generations. The Seeker accepted mechanically. The house was full of beaming women and children. All the adult women consorted with all the adult and not so adult males at some time or the other. The Seeker sensed this. The old man one day called him aside and asked The Seeker not to be alarmed, for strangely the old man knew about his quest. The women are such by nature and it is better that they keep such a thing within the family. This keeps the family together he said and their respect in their locality was also not lost. You see, the advantage that exists when sister in laws consort with brother in laws and cousins with cousins. To this The Seeker had no reply. When he had left the girl, he was certain to find a little vermilion. His hope had gradually dimmed as his search progressed and now at the end of his search he knew positively that a thing as a little vermilion did not exist within this vast country. This drove him to great sorrow and despair and he left the family after thanking them profusely, for opening his eyes to a practical reality such as a cohesive family and respect by the neighbors.
The Pimp and the Whore
It was night. The Seeker was asleep on the vegetable cart in the market place when accosted by a stranger. He stranger shook him gently and asked The Seeker to follow him. The man with sleep in his eyes and wariness in his being followed the stranger to a narrow lane of the city where he found a richly made up woman. The stranger now asked The Seeker for money. The Seeker said what money, for he had none. He then realized that the stranger was a pimp and the woman his whore. He said as much. The pimp, to the total surprise of The Seeker started shouting and the woman started to cry. Some disinterested passersby suddenly became interested and converged on The Seeker and gave him a sound beating. The whore said that The Seeker had been trying to molest her and the pimp said that he was the witness of the fact and he had rushed to help the poor woman. The Seeker lost consciousness and was left to himself and the whore and the pimp disappeared. The morning came as it does and The Seeker was left to reflect upon the odd result of calling a whore a whore. By now it was beyond him to figure out any reason. He had been so disappointed by the result of his search that he was in no state to figure out the complex workings of the human mind.
The Hermit
The Seeker with such knowledge as he had obtained throughout his sojourn was greatly burdened and wandered about the land without aim and purpose. At a place there had congregated a lot of fakirs for an annual holy dip into the sacred river. He went there anyway. Not with the hope of finding his dream there since, he knew these men were supposed to be celibate and had no idea of man woman relationships. There he met a man with a strange intensity in his eyes. He seemed to see deep into his troubles all at once. He directed The Seeker to his guru living in the remotest mountain range of the land. The Seeker was so tired that he could barely walk. There was no sustenance, physical, emotional or spiritual left for him. He was alone with his findings and the knowledge weighed on his brows heavily. But he was driven by his dream and made an extreme effort to reach the guru. The hermit was old and wizened.
The people at the base of the mountain said, they had no living knowledge of his arrival. It seemed he was always there. The hermit said he was expecting the man. The Seeker said how but without much conviction. The hermit smiled but did not reply and the burden of ages seemed to suddenly lift from his brows. He said he was The Seeker’s search guide, but after here The Seeker was on his own, for he was old, celibate and his knowledge domain did not extend into areas The Seeker was looking at, but the man had his blessing for what ever it was worth. He said the women were with some primitive knowledge that The Seeker must discover. He said the women were not looking for men as animals but for men as Gods. He said the time has now come when that may be possible. He said the self played all sort of tricks on the men and women. He said the self was amorphous. It was divine when connected and an animal in sin when it forgot about the connection. He said we must become a continuously connected node. He said all beings lived by a value about which they had no idea. But the memory of the value held by the One haunted them all the time. He said the world was one by energy patterns and he must discover this before looking for vermilion. He said men were not healthy and he must find the secret of their health first. He said women looked down the men as inferior to them, therefore by primitive animalistic rights they sought to control and use them. He said he must find the other tree of knowledge that now has borne fruit and is waiting for the man. He said The Seeker must find light and be prepared to roll the stone uphill. He said The Seeker must not acknowledge his tiredness but keep up his unrelenting search, because we must move from the known to the unknown. He also warned him saying what he sought was possible, but improbable to find in this age and time.
He said a great many unrelated things too.
The Seeker was by now beyond any listening. He was looking at some force far beyond the hermit, beyond time and space, a unifying force that had guided him so far through out his search. He had a lot of questions that he wished to ask and find answers. He did not wish to offend the hermit, who seemed to know the root of his knowledge and ignorance, but beyond these, it seemed existed some third neutral force that worked as a medium for all this existence and conversation, his sense, his third eye.
The Beginning
He felt by now that she had set him up. But to what end? As described by the hermit, was all such improbable stuff actually within the possibility domain? Was she aware of what her little desire had done to The Seeker? Perhaps this had happened without her explicit knowledge. He remembered her calling him stupid. Perhaps she had recourse to some ancient source of knowledge that was denied him. Perhaps he was on the wrong side of the domain that contained the matrices of such overlapping patterns of knowledge. The path pattern he must now follow became gradually clear to him. But seemed so far away and distant that he had no hope of making it across. The words of the hermit came back to him now more often than he wished. He had said you must seek it, you may find it. The tree is now ready and borne fruit. The strange ideas of the hermit were starting to find root in him.
And it is said unknown to The Seeker, the girl with her dog, to this day, waits by the riverside counting the dusks from her balcony with unseeing eyes and hope in her heart.
Epilogue
This is the first part of a series and is the end result of a lot of suffering. There will be another book, of that I am sure, but I do not know when but I think that will be of wisdom and understanding. Hope you have found this problem as fascinating as I have. You may write me if you think about this issue as much as I do, I can sure do with some view points on the how and whys.
for further reference to this work see reflections on the Myth at http://mythreflect.blogspot.com
posted by Antaryami Pradhan at 9:27 PM
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